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In 2020, 

I tried to even change X ( it was the most serious and critical for life )

because,

I thought I couldn’t join your holidays was my fault, 


- lack of my effort as women or as person to be introduced to your family. 

I thought, 


I need to change my self radically, if you feel something that you cannot introduce your partner to your family.

If ,,,, I knew your truth more early, I did not wound myself .

I should...., I should casted to you that I am lonely and pain, I want to more join your family and friends, Before injury myself and before I assume that these are my fault.

I felt, I felt you tried to hide me to people at Entrance of your dorm in Odaiba, I thought my Fashion is unique and pink, so maybe you feel shame.

Or another reason of me.

I thought Everything is my fault.





I didn't wanted to bother you, so I persecuted myself every time I feel lonely about you. 

Because I never thought that is your reason of circumstance.






I wanted to more consult with you that I am lonely.
If it was not my fault..




I wanted to more more nestle to you if it was not my fault.
Before deny myself, before wound myself, before burden my self with responsibility,   

I just wanted consult with you more.

Dear Victor san.
Ayaka .